im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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