just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
