You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
