I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
