I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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