He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
