We're facebook friends in real life
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
