i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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