You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
