Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
