He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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