brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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