I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
