are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
