had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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