I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
