My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
