i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
thus making me awesome and them whores
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
