you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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