i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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