first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
