You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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