Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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