oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
