I just made out with a guy for $7.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I love you. Go after that dick
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
