He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
