she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
