I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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