You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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