I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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