Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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