I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
So apparently I’m into choking now
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