one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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