well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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