Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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