ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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