We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
