I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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