I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
