There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
