I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
