i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
A+ Viking dick
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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