I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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