...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
