We won't sleep together?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
