Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
