I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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