She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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