im six kinds of drunk right now
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
