I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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