Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
